Round 5

It is hard for me to believe that today was my first class of my final semester here on Saba. My life has changed so much over the past 17 months. I am going to do my best to sit back and enjoy the last 3 months that we have here living on this tiny island in the middle of the ocean. Something tells me that these final 3 months will go by just as fast as the first 17 did.
We didn't go home over this break between semesters. That is the first time we have stayed here. I found a few things out about Saba that I never knew before while staying on break. This place is actually a really nice place to live when you don't have medical school staring you in the eyes. I realized that I am really going to miss this island that we have learned to call home. Although it is tough sometimes being so far away from everyone we know, we also love our life here. It will definately be bittersweet when we leave. I will do my best to keep this updated as the semester progresses. I apologize to those who check it so often for not keeping it updated. Hopefully I will do a better job at it the next 104 days.

Another Day in Sunny Seattle

I'm beginning to feel like that Saba has been sucked through warp hole in the earth and secretly we are now situated at Seattle, WA 47.62N -122.36Wa. I'm waiting for Oceanic Flight 815 to wash up on shore here anyday now. For those of you who don't watch the TV show LOST do not be alarmed. There wasn't really a plane crash. It's just my ill attempt at humor. Who knew that it could be 65 and rainy so much here in the Caribbean. I guess its par for the course on how this semester has gone. This has been by far my most challenging semester. I recently received an email from my best friend back home telling me that he missed my blogging. It gave me a sense of home. It's so comforting to know that those that you think of so often still remember you as well. It also gave me a sense of vision and accomplishment. So, for this reason, I have returned to log more of my thoughts onto this website.

I have just recently finished 4th block exams. I have 13 days left in this semester and I can't wait for it to be over. I often feel like I dont know anything but then when I start talking I realize at how much I have learned. Going through this experience has taught me something that is often misunderstood about the people who choose to become doctors. Medical school isn't a place for the smartest people in the world. This is often the biggest misconception about the people that you choose to go visit when you are sick. Doctors are given the power of almost god-like creatures that should be able to fix everything. So, for the first time, I'm going to give all you people the insight into this crazy profession. We aren't the smart ones. That title belongs to all the other people who weren't crazy enough to put themselves through this type of torture. Doctors are however, some of the most driven people I have ever encountered. No matter the task that is put infront of me I someone seem to accomplish it. This is not from my intellect alone. That is for sure! I think that 90% of it comes from sheer determination. I never dreamed in a million years that I could learn 1600 drugs and everything about them in 3 months. But, it is slowly happening. I appreciate Chad for getting me back on this. I have missed the feeling of releasing my thoughts into cyberworld and letting the 4 of you that do read hash over them.

2/3 of a Bibliophile

Good news! I made it out of another set of block exams alive. Today marks another milestone for us here on Saba. I am officially 75% done with my basic sciences here on Saba. That is very hard for me to believe. Fifteen months ago Beth and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. This has been one of the best/worst experiences of my life. I have never experienced anything quite like Medical School. It is for sure the most mentally, physically, and emotionally challenging thing I have had to face so far in life. Ok, so now lets move on to the title of this post.

I have a confession to make. I am an aspiring Bibliophile. The sad part of this is that I can only make it to 2/3 of my aspiration. Over the past few years I have grown extremely fond of collecting books. I absolutely love going into book stores and looking around. I think I could spend days inside of old bookstores as well as your nearest Borders. There is only one problem with my aspiration of becoming a bibliophile. By definition, a Bibliophile is one who meets three separate criteria. They are as follows:

1. One who Admires books

2. One who loves to collect books

3. One who loves to read books.

You see, it is the last part of that list that is keeping me from accomplishing my dreams. I have tried MANY times to fulfill this last task. Unfortunately, it always ends exactly the same. It is not that I don't like the book that I read. Most of the time I am totally engulfed in each book that I read. But, for some reason, I walk away from it. I leave it sitting there never knowing how the book ends. I know some of you are reading this with disbelief. How can any sane person just stop reading a novel in the middle and never know how it ends? You are in good company if you are currently asking that question. I ask it all the time. The truth is that I don't have a good answer to my antics. Maybe it is the fact that I like to have things unfinished so that I feel like I still have something to do. It could be that I"m just lazy, or that I simply have ADHD. I think Beth would vote for the latter.

My guess is that everyone has something in their life that they leave undone. I'm pretty sure that at the root of this nonsense is the fact that we all have some sense of fear to finish certain things that are active in our lives. For me, that comes in the form of books. My guess is most people finish the books they start reading. I am positive that the majority of you don't continue to go to the book store and buy classics only to have a nice collection of great authors on your shelf that you have never read.

Beth must be the most patient and understanding girl in the world. The fact that she goes with me to bookstores KNOWING that 99% of the time I will never finish the book is pretty amazing. So, give me a few years. I will have all the greats. Just don't ask me for advice on which ones to read. That is unless you want to know about the first 100 pages.

Comments from my posts

I have fixed the problem that would not allow some of you to post on my blog. Feel free to post away. If you still can't get it to work you can email me and let me know.

leebouldin@gmail.com

I will write another blog when some new thoughts enter my mind.

The sky is falling..... No wait, thats just the dollar

It's tough going to a school where over half of the students are Canadian. I remember when I was a child that if I ever found a Canadian quarter it was about as good as monopoly money. Somehow they would work their way from Canada all the way to Tennessee and end up being handed to me as change for my baseball cards that I would so often purchase. I normally wouldn't realize that I had been shafted until I had walked to the Coke machine later in the day. It was standing in front of that machine with my mouth watering that I would find out that what I assumed was a U.S. Mint quarter had been replaced with yet another crazy Canadian coin. I must have had sucker written on my forehead because I this scene happened to me time and time again.

Now lets flash forward 15 years. Although the entire world still takes my US dollar, it is becoming worth less and less every day. I have lately started looking back and regretting all the bad thoughts I had against our northern neighbors growing up each time I was denied a Coca-cola Classic because I had been tricked yet again by the Canadian quarter. In retrospect I should have saved all of those coins. I would have turned a 100% profit in a 15 year period. Thats not too bad with todays current market. I will learn from this mistake though. I am currently looking forward to the next time I return to Mexico. I will collect every peso that I can find. I will not miss out on another opportunity to double my money from one of my neighboring countries. So, for all the Canadians that read this, enjoy your time on top of the dollar. My suggestion is that you start collecting US quarters. Don't make the same mistake as I did and lose out on a nice profit when things turn back to the days of Parker Bros.

Names

Growing up I always wondered why I was called Lee. I always remember on the first day of class when Steven Bouldin would be called and I would raise my hand. I can remember dreading that moment. People would turn around and stare at me like I was some circus freak. It's not that Steven is some off the wall name but there would always be conversations that followed on why I went by Lee. Most people would think that my middle name must be Lee. I would then have to explain that this was not the case either. My middle name is actually Leander. I'll take the next few lines to explain to everyone reading here so that I can clear this up for you all.

My parents decided to name me after both of my grandfathers. My maternal grandfather's name was Billy Stevens Moore. My paternal grandfather's name is Leander Charles Bouldin. From these two names was created Steven Leander Bouldin. I know some of you will still be puzzled at how one grandfather lost an S in translation but that is for another time. Just think of the looks I would have gotten had I been named Stevens Leander Bouldin. I guess my parents didn't want to put Leander solely in the ownership of Steven. Now as to how I became Lee, I know they really wanted a girl so I guess it was the best of both worlds. I think I can count on 1 hand the number of males named Lee I have met in my life. I say all of this to say that there is alot that goes into a name. The majority of parents spend countless hours pondering what their child will be named. I often wonder if what you name someone actually has a lasting impact on who they become.

Lets take my name for instance:

Steven- literally means crown

Leander- literally means lion-like

Bouldin- I looked this name up online for its origin and the name comes from English and German backgrounds. The name means- " I stand for truth"


I can't help but see thy symbolism in my name as it correlates to my views on religion and life. I know that my parents didn't go into this much detail when mapping out what I would be called. I just find it interesting as to how it applies to me.

There is another name I want to bring to your attention. Longar Longar plays basketball for Oklahoma right now. The fact that he has the same first and last name made me laugh out loud when I read his name today. At least I wasn't named Steven Stevens. The other interesting fact is that he is 6'10". He was destined to be tall.

I say all of this to make a simple point. The name that each of us carries has a very special meaning. You are not only bearing it for yourself but also for everyone else who carries that name. Whether it be the first, middle, or last, someone else always shares at least one of those with you. I hope that my actions in life will do more to build up the names of Steven, Leander, and Bouldin than tarnish them. I guess I'll also help the biological Lees of the world while I'm at it.

Lee

On the Clock

My entry today will be brief. I find myself on the clock once again. My next set of exams are 2 weeks from today. This leaves me little time to procrastinate. My professors keep telling me that the greatest thing about medicine is that it is open book. You always have countless resources at your fingertips to help diagnose and treat patients. I am still trying to convince them that our block exams should be the same way. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant. The information is endless and yet somehow I keep gulping and taking in as much as possible to survive.

On a side note, over the weekend I read a book unrelated to medicine. It was really refreshing. The book is called The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Oprah recommended it so I thought it must be good. I think that Oprah could recommend drinking sodas to lose weight and people would do it. Some of you may know him by another book which is now also a movie called No Country for Old Men. I have now read both books. After reading two of his books I am still not sure I can grasp the way he writes. I feel like the story is going nowhere for the first 2/3 of the book but at the end I always look back and feel like I am surprised at how I strangely enjoyed it. Maybe that is his intention with his writing style.

First things first

I recently realized that I should start writing down some of the things that I encounter everyday before I start forgetting my experiences. I hope that some of you will enjoy reading my thoughts from time to time. Hopefully they will shed some light on where I am at in my journey. One of my plans in life is to write a book. Maybe this will give me the outlet to practice my writing over the next few years.

We went to St. Martin this past weekend for vacation. I don't think I fully realize how blessed we are to be able to take a weekend trip to a place like that. I am sure I will understand it more once I am gone from Saba and in the next phase of medicine. I think that is how most things are in life. I know that most of my life I tell myself I should really be enjoying the moment I am in because it is normally after that moment is past that I realize how special it was. I think there is something about us that either doesn't want to leave the past or longs for the future but fails to appreciate the current place we find ourselves. I often think it is America that has made me this way. The sense of never being satisfied and always looking for something better. I think this is as much of a curse as anything else we can encounter in life. I think being in medical school lets me encounter the people that struggle with this the most. It seems like everyone is always either living in their past life about how wonderful they were before they got here, or living in the future and designing their yacht before we get out of basic sciences. Maybe this is the very essence of what keeps people going. I have to think this isn't the way we are suppose to live.

So, in short, regardless of where you find yourself in life, enjoy it. Even if its pain and suffering. I find myself daydreaming about the day when I am done with studying. The day when we are back closer to family and friends. The day when we can have kids and a normal life again. But the funny thing is, our days on Saba have been some of the best of my life. Yet for some reason, I keep wishing them away.